Team |
TW |
LW |
|
|
 |
1 |
1 |
|
Aaron Rodgers might be the NFL’s new golden boy, but he’s an atrocious actor. |
 |
2 |
2 |
|
There is no more fitting name for Calvin Johnson than Megatron. Except maybe Godzilla or Mothera. |
 |
3 |
3 |
|
When did Jimmy Grahame become the best tight end in the NFL? How come I’ve never even heard of him? |
 |
4 |
4 |
|
Now that Tom Brady cut his hair, Doug Flutie’s daughter is now the prettiest member of the Patriots organization. |
 |
5 |
6 |
|
Ray Lewis is the second most hated player in the NFL. Maybe with hard work he can be number one some day. |
 |
6 |
8 |
|
If you haven’t listened to the weekly rap songs made by Nick Mendola, you’re missing out on some sweet Buffalo rhymes. |
 |
7 |
13 |
|
Wow, the Niners completely embarrassed a previously potential playoff team. |
 |
8 |
7 |
|
Since the Bolts only loss was to the Patriots when can I finally call them the San Diego SUPER Chargers? |
 |
9 |
5 |
|
Derrick Mason was somehow able to get on a lifeboat before the sinking of the Titanic. |
 |
10 |
10 |
|
Angela Rypien threw three TD’s in the Seattle Mist’s 42-8 win over the Green Bay Chill of the Lingerie Football League. |
 |
11 |
22 |
|
The Bengals look like they have the best defense in the league. Their offense might be OK if they would just trade Carson Palmer for some talent. |
r |
12 |
15 |
|
The Raiders only need 10 players on defense to win games because the ghost of Al Davis is playing free safety. |
 |
13 |
14 |
|
Which Titans team is the real team? The team that won three games in a row or the team that got dismantled by the Steelers? |
 |
14 |
12 |
|
Big test this week against the Bills’ explosive offense. I never thought I would write that sentence. |
 |
15 |
9 |
|
This is the Jets first must-win game of the season or else Rex Ryan’s proclamation that “this is year” is going to sound even more ridiculous. |
 |
16 |
17 |
|
Tony Romo didn’t make a single mistake last week. See also: The Cowboys had a bye week. |
 |
17 |
16 |
|
Mike Tomlin doesn’t remember anything that happened before last week. Especially nothing about the 2008 playoffs. |
 |
18 |
19 |
|
Every time I’m trying think of something to write about the Falcons all I can think about is Will Forte as “The Falconer” on SNL. |
 |
19 |
21 |
|
Is Peyton Hillis going to get the nod against the Raiders or have the Browns decided to continue barely using their best player? |
 |
20 |
18 |
|
Is it just me or should Mike Kafka’s nickname be “The Metamorphosis”? |
 |
21 |
11 |
|
What the what? The Bucs looked like a playoff team. Now they look like they want to get into the Andrew Luck sweepstakes. |
 |
22 |
24 |
|
If the NBA cancels its season, what are the odds that LeBron James joins the ‘Hawks? Pretty good if you ask Pete Carroll. |
 |
23 |
20 |
|
The Bears’ offensive line has more holes than Swiss cheese. |
 |
24 |
25 |
|
Who’s the better 1-4 team, the Panthers or the Eagles? I’ll go with the Panthers right now. |
 |
25 |
23 |
|
That’s a stretch nickname ‘o the week: Max “Harold and” Komar. |
 |
26 |
26 |
|
Tim Tebow is finally the Broncos starter. I wonder how long those billboards are paid for. |
 |
27 |
27 |
|
Sweet MJD cameo last week during The League’s “Shiva Bowl Shuffle”. |
 |
28 |
31 |
|
The Chiefs looked dead after the first three weeks. After two wins they looked slightly alive. Maybe not fully, more like The Walking Dead. |
 |
29 |
30 |
|
The Vikes finally found a way to win. Too little too late I think. |
 |
30 |
28 |
|
Brandon Marshall may have officially lost his mind and I can’t wait to watch what happens on Monday night. |
 |
31 |
29 |
|
The only good thing about Peyton Manning being out for the year: He has time to host SNL again make more hilarious TV spots. |
 |
32 |
32 |
|
The Rams might be living in the basement but it’s totally cool because they have a sweet futon down there. |