| Team | TW | LW | ||
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1 | 6 | No Roethlisberger? No problem. | |
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2 | 1 | Garret Hartley: From Super Bowl hero to goat in three games. | |
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3 | 2 | Nick Collins, who throws a mouthpiece? Honestly. | |
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4 | 5 | When Dwight Freeney has a sack he should have a catchphrase like “I was saying boo-urns” or “Yahtzee!” | |
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5 | 10 | The Falcons beat the Saints last week. Larry David would say, “That’s pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty good.” | |
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6 | 4 | That’s the way it goes. Titans blow out G-men and still fall a little bit in the rankings. | |
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7 | 8 | Ginormous game against Pittsburgh this weekend for North supremacy. | |
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8 | 12 | When Brian Urlacher gets a tackle, the theme song from The Running Man plays in my head. | |
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9 | 7 | Pats barely beat Buffalo? Are they even the best team in the East? | |
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10 | 13 | My cousin from New Jersey is in town for the Jets game. I will not be attending because I’d rather not pay $75 to take a nap. | |
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11 | 3 | It was only a matter of time before the Cowboys got a win. Lucky for the Texans, they have Oaktown this weekend. | |
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12 | 11 | Huge Monday night matchup with the Patriots in the three team race for the East. Sorry, Buffalo. | |
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13 | 9 | When will we see the “Super” in Super Chargers? | |
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14 | 20 | Tony “I’m not Gonzalez” Moeki made the catch of the year on Sunday. Look it up. | |
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15 | 18 | This week’s sign that the Apocolypse is upon us: People attempting to call the “feed the children” phone number found on OchoCinco’s cereal actually reach phone sex line. | |
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16 | 16 | Mike Vick for MVP. You heard it here first. | |
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17 | 17 | Brett Favre is starting to look like the only player in NFL history playing with grand children. | |
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18 | 19 | I’m really tired of those University of Phoenix commercials, but at least they are better than Everest Institute. | |
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19 | 22 | Dez Bryant just bought a dinner for the whole team. The bill? 55k. I’m mad when I have to shell out 30 bones for my friends. | |
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20 | 24 | Tebow time? Yes…oh, no? Dang. | |
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21 | 25 | Mike Williams used the term “Federlined” to explain how the ‘Hawks beat the Chargers. | |
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22 | 15 | Will the Giants fire Tom Coughlin already? This is getting old. | |
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23 | 21 | Josh Freeman can throw the ball and run. He’s like Frankenstein’s monster with Troy Aikman’s arm and FloJo’s legs. | |
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24 | 14 | Donovan McNabb is not remotely as beloved as Santa Claus. The Philly fans booed Santa. Therefore, the Philly fans will boo McNabb. | |
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25 | 27 | Statistically the worst team, but I have faith that they really aren’t this bad. | |
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26 | 23 | Buffalo’s trash is Jacksonville’s….trash. | |
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27 | 26 | Darren McFadden finally looks like the dominant player the Raiders thought they were drafting in ’08. | |
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28 | 30 | Apparently the Rams might be better than the Redskins and Sam Bradford looks like a pretty good #1 pick. | |
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29 | 29 | The Lions will go 0-16 and lose by a combined 24 points. | |
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30 | 28 | Jimmy Clausen still looks like the best option at QB. Now if he could only find a way to get the ball to Steve Smith… | |
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31 | 32 | The CJ Spiller show has finally arrived. | |
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32 | 31 | I know the Browns fans missed this spot so I figured I’d let them have it again. |
Image credit: Paige Foster
30 year old freelance writer and The Father Life‘s resident beer columnist and sports editor. He also writes about fine beverages for drinkingmadeeasy.com and Chilled Magazine. On top of that, he writes about college and professional lacrosse for insidelacrosse.com. He’s also written for Genesee Valley Parenting Magazine, the Democrat and Chronicle Newspaper and ESPN.com. “Osburn on Tap” appears monthly in THE FATHER LIFE. For questions, comments, or if you have a story idea for Chris, throw him an email cosburn@thefatherlife.com. Also, follow him on twitter http://www.twitter.com/chrisosburn