[SPORTS] NFL Power Rankings: Week 2

Team TW LW
1 1 #1 in our hearts and still #1 in the rankings.
2 3 The Dolphins may make Darius Rucker cry, but only Clay Matthews makes me cry.
3 6 The Texans are magically delicious.
4 7 I think Verbal Kint said it best when he said, “Well, I believe in God, and the only thing that scares me is Keyser Soze…and Chris Johnson.”
5 8 Peyton proves that he is by far the best Manning. Eli is said to be distraught that he’s only third best behind Danny.
6 10 Who’s going to play QB for the Steelers now, Troy “Head and Shoulders” Polamalu?
7 2 Tom Brady may not have been able to find a way to beat the Jets on Sunday, but he still has a dreamy 70’s haircut.
8 4 Quote the Raven “Never let Mike Nugent kick five field goals anymore.”
9 11 We don’t know just yet how “Super” the Chargers are this season.
10 12 I want to see Ovie “Mugsy” Mughelli get more carries ASAP.
11 15 Predicted score of the Jets game: Miami 13-10.
12 19 The bears D.J. Moore says the ‘Boys are afraid to get hit. That might end up being a problem.
13 16 Mark Sanchez doesn’t like Taco Bell…He LOVES it!
14 13 ‘Skins cut Larry Johnson this week. Remember when he ran for over 1700 yards two seasons in a row?
15 14 Former Giant Plaxico Burress gave his first jailhouse interview this week. Sources say he’s bored.
16 21 The Eagles are Mike Vick’s team now. Sorry, Kolb. You had your chance and you blew it.
17 5 The Vikes savior has arrived. They just signed Hank “Mr. Kendra Wilkinson” Baskett.
18 20 Newsflash: Terrell Owens doesn’t look any better in Cincinnati Orange than he did in Buffalo Blue.
19 17 The Cardinals are “meh” and will probably still win the NFC West.
20 22 The Chiefs are 2-0. No thanks to Shaun Smith and his roving hands.
21 25 The Bucs are STILL undefeated!? That’s right, baby. Too bad they beat bad teams.
22 9 The ‘Boys are tumbling down the rankings faster than Snookie on an escalator.
23 23 Let’s have a nice slow clap for Maurice Jones-Drew because I think he needs a little encouragement.
24 26 Is it Tebow time yet? When When When!!!?
25 18 Yea, I was right. The Seahawks aren’t any better with Pete Carroll.
26 27 The Raiders are looking more and more like the Bills every day. Now they bench Jason Campbell? Ruh Roh.
27 24 I think Frank Gore misses the Reverend Glen Coffee.
28 28 I couldn’t be more excited to see Jimmy Clausen get the starting nod this week. Oh wait, yes I could.
29 30 Jahvid Best single-handedly propelled me to victory in fantasy football last weekend.
30 31 Ravens castoff Mark Clayton looks pretty spiffy in a Rams uniform these days.
31 32 Let’s have a parade in downtown Cleveland. The Browns aren’t the worst team in the NFL.
32 29 #1 in Western New York’s hearts, #32 (possibly worse) in talent.

Image credit: Paige Foster

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