| Team | TW | LW | ||
 |
1 | 1 | Did anyone play “king of the mountain” on giant snow piles when you were a kid? Well, the Packers are still king until someone knocks them off. | |
 |
2 | 5 | The Texans have the talent to be a Super Bowl team. Now if they can only find a way to make the playoffs. | |
 |
3 | 6 | The Saints runs in the first two games are worse than Ross Perot’s runs for president. | |
 |
4 | 7 | Tom Brady’s hair battles Ryan Fitzpatrick’s beard at Ralph Wilson Stadium on Sunday. | |
 |
5 | 8 | Dear LaDainian Tomlinson, you’re done. Step aside please. This is the Shonn show. | |
 |
6 | 9 | The Bills are leading the NFL in points as well as amount of people saying “Really?” when they hear that statistic. | |
 |
7 | 2 | It’s not Halloween. But, costume or not, nobody knows what the Ravens are yet. | |
 |
8 | 3 | Apparently Mike Vick is human. Prior to this week I assumed his middle name was Kal-El. | |
 |
9 | 10 | Its ok, bolts. To quote Henry Hill, “Everyone takes a beating (from the Patriots) some time.” | |
 |
10 | 11 | It’s officially time to be afraid of the talent on the Lions roster. | |
 |
11 | 18 | I think the Falcons finally woke up from their lockout slumbers. | |
 |
12 | 22 | The Redskins just might find a way to win their division because nobody even notices that they are still playing. | |
 |
13 | 16 | Tony Romo, you better wear some extra padding because DeAngelo Hall is coming to get you. | |
 |
14 | 13 | Another team humbly falls to the offensive juggernaut that is the Buffalo Bills. | |
 |
15 | 4 | The Bears offensive line has just been deemed too offensive to be shown on TV and now needs to be pixilated during games. | |
 |
16 | 21 | Wouldn’t it be strange if Ben Roethlisberger ate a roethlisburger before every game? | |
 |
17 | 19 | Josh Freeman needs a Delorean because he doesn’t seem to notice that the game has started until the fourth quarter. | |
 |
18 | 14 | Paging Mr. Gabbart. Mr. Gabbart, you have a telephone call at the front desk. | |
 |
19 | 15 | How long until the Vikes call on Christian Ponder to lead this team? | |
 |
20 | 12 | It’s not fair to Alex Smith that people keep telling him that he’s good at football. | |
 |
21 | 23 | The Titans won and Chris Johnson couldn’t have look worse. | |
 |
22 | 31 | Jason Pierre-Paul has the first names covered. It appears that he’s missing his last though. | |
 |
23 | 17 | The Cardinals should 2-0 right now, but they couldn’t hold the lead. Good thing the AFC West is the NFL’s version of the island of misfit toys. | |
 |
24 | 24 | Every time I see that Steven Jackson Nike Pro Combat commercial I crack up. It’s comedy gold. | |
 |
25 | 28 | The Broncos beat the Bungles, but you wouldn’t know it over all the “Tebow!” chants. | |
 |
26 | 25 | Cam Newton has the all-time record for most yards in his first two career starts. That’s pretty good I guess. | |
 |
27 | 32 | RIP Orlando “Zeus” Brown. | |
 |
28 | 26 | Hey, Mike Brown. Stop being a Giant baby and trade Carson Palmer for some talent already. | |
 |
29 | 20 | The Dolphins aren’t really this bad. They begin their climb up the standings right now. Reggie Bush really is this bad though. | |
 |
30 | 27 | Tarvaris Jackson left the Vikes to start at QB, not lay on the carpet for extended periods of time. | |
 |
31 | 30 | Is it time to make a phone call to Hattiesburg, Mississippi? | |
 |
32 | 29 | The Chiefs didn’t really win the AFC West last year right? Pretty sure this is a Pop Warner team. |
30 year old freelance writer and The Father Life‘s resident beer columnist and sports editor. He also writes about fine beverages for drinkingmadeeasy.com and Chilled Magazine. On top of that, he writes about college and professional lacrosse for insidelacrosse.com. He’s also written for Genesee Valley Parenting Magazine, the Democrat and Chronicle Newspaper and ESPN.com. “Osburn on Tap” appears monthly in THE FATHER LIFE. For questions, comments, or if you have a story idea for Chris, throw him an email cosburn@thefatherlife.com. Also, follow him on twitter http://www.twitter.com/chrisosburn