Uncategorized

Your Kid is Slothlike

I just heard two LSMs (Leopard Skinned Moms) at Hole Fuds — where else — arguing about whose kid was HOTTER. (Their kids looked like drugged tree sloths, but I don’t think irony plays any part in their lives.) I’ve always hoped my kids would be awkwa…

Brick Washing Day

Yes, Tuesday is Brick Washing Day, yay. (My bricks were DIRTY. Get off me.) Now, as da-das the world over are about as laundry-challenged as a demographic can get (I think dogs actually outrank us), this poor schmoe cannot be blamed for his confusio…

Godzilla in Your Bed

Great. Now my bed is killing me. Thanks.Turns out researchers curious about breast cancer rates being 10% higher on women’s right sides discovered that our box springs may act as RF amplifiers, snagging FM and TV transmissions.The research, carried out…

BONK BLORK BLUBUBLAH BUH?!

After years of heavily granted and costly research, A Man Called Da-Da — in loose cooperation with slack torpophysicists at AcmeVaporware — has finally cracked the cranial cavities of small children (well, mine anyway) WITHOUT USING AN AXE. Not as mu…