[SPORTS] NFL Power Rankings: Week 7

 

Team TW LW
1 1 When will the Packers finally lose? Will they run the table? Will Clay Matthews braid his hair and dress as Pippi Longsticking for Halloween?
2 4 That’s a stretch nickname o’ the day: Ras “Al Ghul” Dowling.
3 7 I would have never guessed that the Niners would be this good when the season began. If Frank Gore gets hurt their season is over though.
4 3 Drew Brees and company put up a college basketball score on the hapless Colts.
5 2 If you haven’t already, go to funnyordie.com and watch the “Millenball” video. It’s comedy gold.
6 5 Quote the Raven, “ (the offense could) Never score (against the Jags last week)”.
7 8 I think the Chargers new mascot should be Ellen Page’s character “Boltie” from Super.
8 11 How did this surprisingly talented team lose to the Broncos in week 2?
9 14 I had the Giants as a tie for the worst team in the NFC East coming into this season. They looked like the best team now.
10 6 To make the Toronto game more palatable to locals the Bills should play by CFL rules. 50 yard end zones, halftime viewing of Slapshot and being able to catch the ball after one bounce.
11 17 How did the Steelers get to 5-2 without anyone noticing?
12 15 Don’t look now, the Jets are flying up the rankings.
13 18 I wonder if Brent “Rick” Grimes watches The Walking Dead.
14 9 After the big win over the rival Titans, it’s time to put the pedal to the metal and rack up some wins.
15 12 Carson Palmer looked like Billy Joe Hobart out there against the Chiefs.
16 23 Saw one of my old college buddies dressed as one of “Daaaaaaa Bears” fans. Great costume idea.
17 16 Tony Romo and his wife are having a baby. I guess any news is important enough to deflect questions about why he is so terrible in the clutch.
18 13 Aaaaaand my idea that the Titans are good this year is completely gone after their 41-7 loss to the Texans.
19 21 The Buccaneers are apparently not only dressing as Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde for Halloween. They are going to wear the costume all season.
20 20 Is this the week we see the Eagles “dream team”?
21 10 The ‘skins have a tough test this week against Fred Jackson and the Bills. Too bad they’re more beat up than Richard Hayden’s car.
22 28 Could the Chiefs possibly make the playoffs after their dismal start to the season? Todd Haley’s salt and pepper beard says yes.
23 19 Browns pulled off a win in the most boring football game since Michigan beat Purdue 5-0 in 1995.
24 22 The only thing that can beat “Beast Mode” is a bad back…and potentially someone paying attention to their purse at Applebee’s.
25 25 The Cardinals might suck, but at least you get to live in Arizona with all of the beautiful young college woman and the wrinkled, early bird crowd.
26 27 Jaguars almost looked like they had a defense in their 12-7 win over the Ravens.
27 24 Cam Newton will never be my favorite Cam. That title will always belong to Cam Neely. “Kick his ass, Seabass”.
28 26 “Tebowing” is the new planking. Look it up.
29 29 Everyone talks about “Tebow Time”, but how about “Ponder Parade”? Ok, that was a stretch.
30 30 Reggie Bush’s teammates think the “stinks” even more than I do.
31 32 The Rams are going to freak everyone out by dressing as a winning team for Halloween. Just kidding, their going to go as a Pop Warner team again.
32 31 62-7? Really? And you’re going to tell me this is a playoff team if Peyton Manning wasn’t injured?

30 year old freelance writer and The Father Life‘s resident beer columnist and sports editor. He also writes about fine beverages for drinkingmadeeasy.com and Chilled Magazine. On top of that, he writes about college and professional lacrosse for insidelacrosse.com. He’s also written for Genesee Valley Parenting Magazine, the Democrat and Chronicle Newspaper and ESPN.com. “Osburn on Tap” appears monthly in THE FATHER LIFE. For questions, comments, or if you have a story idea for Chris, throw him an email cosburn@thefatherlife.com. Also, follow him on twitter http://www.twitter.com/chrisosburn

Leave a Reply