[SPORTS] NFL Power Rankings: Week 1

 

 

 

 

Team TW LW
1 The pack got their title defense started off right with a shootout win over the previous champs.
2 Big pickup Lee Evans looked like Chevy Case in Memoirs of an invisible man.
3 Fact: Mike Vick’s legs are insured by Lloyd’s of London for $100 bajillion dollars.
4 Everyone was hatin’ on the bears. But just like J-Rock on Trailer Park Boys, they aint shook.
5 Is this finally the season that the Texans get over the hump and actually make the playoffs?
6 I know Green Bay is good, but the saints defended worse than the New York Knicks.
7 Tom Brady threw for over 500 yards, but he still has a girl’s haircut.
8 Plaxico Burress didn’t look like he lost a step in snagging 4 balls for 72 yards and a TD.
9 The NFL’s most attractive team beat the NFL’s ugliest team. Coincidence?
10 Is it time to call Ryan Mathews a bust yet?
11 Matthew Stafford can sling it, but he looks more like Stan Humphries than Tom Brady.
12 Ted Ginn Jr. ran for more yards on Sunday than Forrest Gump.
13 Jason Campbell plays a lot more like Jamarcus Russell than Rich Gannon.
14 The Luke McCown experiment looks like it’s working out so far. Just wait until the Jags play a real team.
15 It’s pretty sad that the Vikings have had QB’s throw for less than Mcnabb’s 39 yards 7 times.
16 In clutch situations, Tony Romo is more clumsy than Matt Foley after he sits down in the basement drinking coffee all morning.
17  Kevin Kolb “salad” couldn’t have had a more flawless first start for the Cards.
18 Someone needs to tell Matt Ryan that the lockout is over.
19  Josh Freeman to Mike Williams is my favorite combination in the NFL right now.
20 I guess it’s a bad idea to make a Reggie Bush your starter when he had chances to do it before but couldn’t hack it.
21 Pittsburgh needs to get some Gatorade and aspirin to get over this post Super Bowl hangover.
22  Halloween came early in Maryland. Someone wearing a Rex Grossman costume threw for over 300 yards against the Giants.
23 Chris Johnson, 24 yards? Really!?!? I’m glad you are earning all of that holdout money.
24  Week on way-too-early prediction: The Rams WILL make the playoffs.
25  I’ll be the first to admit that Cam Newton really does look like the real deal.
26  The Bengals won Ben Fold’s “The battle of who could care less”.
27  Seattle’s loss to the Niners was more boring than The English Patient.
28  Let the “Tebow Time” clock start ticking down starting…meow!
29 Are the Chiefs this bad or are the Bills this good?
30 Is Peyton Manning so good that the Colts go from a playoff team with him to one of the worst teams in the NFL without him?
31 Eli Manning didn’t do much to prove that he’s elite. He got severely outplayed by Rex Grossman.
32 Being a Cleveland fan must feel more like a prison than a dawg pound.

30 year old freelance writer and The Father Life‘s resident beer columnist and sports editor. He also writes about fine beverages for drinkingmadeeasy.com and Chilled Magazine. On top of that, he writes about college and professional lacrosse for insidelacrosse.com. He’s also written for Genesee Valley Parenting Magazine, the Democrat and Chronicle Newspaper and ESPN.com. “Osburn on Tap” appears monthly in THE FATHER LIFE. For questions, comments, or if you have a story idea for Chris, throw him an email cosburn@thefatherlife.com. Also, follow him on twitter http://www.twitter.com/chrisosburn

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