[READER QUESTION] Should You Remain Friends with Your Mistress?

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Reader JF left a comment on Could You Forgive Your Spouse for Cheating?

My wife had an affair (mostly an emotional affair and some kissing, but no sex) and I feel that we are dealing with it well except for one thing. The man she had an affair with is one of her only friends and they have swapped childcare together (we both have 3 year olds). They did a lot of childcare together and have swapped kids to give the other a break. I truly believe my wife is over him and would not do anything again (we’ve had a lot of stress in our lives leading to the affair), but she wants to remain friends with him; he’s her only childcare support; and while she understands that I don’t want my kids near him, and while she accepts that, I know she wants me to move past it.

My question for you, readers, is this: Is it okay to remain friends with the person that you cheated on your spouse with?

Image by: Travis Grawey, SXC

Cory Huff

Cory Huff is a husband, actor, and social media guru. He’s been married to his beautiful wife Lissie for 7 years. They live in Portland, Oregon. Check out his site at theabundantartist.com.

4 thoughts on “[READER QUESTION] Should You Remain Friends with Your Mistress?

  1. Absolutely not. The fact that he is her only source of child care support leaves alot of room for further emotional entanglement. Even if it never results in full on sex, the fact that there would be a history of “almost” would be enough to say “This friendship and arrangement isn’t worth it” not to mention the fact that this guy is probably meeting some need she has that her husband isn’t. Its a recipe for disaster to remain “friends” with someone you have had an emotional or real affair with – whether your a husband or a wife.

  2. The “friendship” should end. Period. Out of respect for your feelings if no other reason — though there are MANY other reasons.

  3. Hell no! It’s not appropriate, not safe, no exceptions. The emotional ties have to be cut completely, and continuing a friendship, especially one based on a need like that, will only leave room for those doors to be reopened.

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