THE FATHER LIFE » Cate Burke

[BOOK REVIEW] The Humor of Herding Kids (of the Four-Legged Variety)

Cate Burke — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 04:39:52 +0000

After reading only the title of Josh Kilmer-Purcell’s new book, The Bucolic Plague: From Drag Queen to Goat Farmer, I knew I had to read it. While the only thing I know about goat farming I learned on a tour of the Surfing Goat Dairy (www.surfinggoatdairy.com) on Maui, I was intrigued. How does one go from drag queen to goat farmer? It sounded like an interesting adventure and definitely one worth reading. What I didn’t know was how much I would truly enjoy this book.

The Bucolic Plague is filled with a witty and heart-warming humor, with a touch of sass thrown in for good measure. Kilmer-Purcell has such a warm, welcoming style of writing that it embraces the reader and keeps the pages turning.

In this unconventional memoir, Kilmer-Purcell and his partner are transformed into “The Fabulous Beekman Boys” (their new Planet Green docu-series on Discovery Network). After stumbling upon and falling in love with the 200-year-old Beekman mansion, these work-aholic New Yorkers bought the farm… along with a rooster that crows a very convincing rendition of “Here Comes the Bride” and an endless supply of zombie flies. They discover living “the simple life” isn’t so simple, or perfect, after all.

Several humorous mishaps turn into important learning experiences for the author including: why you never over-feed baby goats, always wash your hands after chopping hot peppers, and why you may want to reconsider hosting a marimba/vibraphone concert in your home.

The Bucolic Plague is well written and inspirational, with humorous antidotes and heart-warming misadventures. While on the surface I may have little in common with the ex-drag queen, I found it surprisingly easy to relate to him and his quest to live his Best Life. Whether you secretly dream of living a simpler life or not, I would highly recommend this book.

In addition to being a gentleman farmer, Josh Kilmer-Purcell is also a bestselling author, columnist for Out magazine, contributor to NPR, and advertising executive. For more information visit joshkilmer-purcell.com or Beekman1802.com.

The opinions expressed in this review are those of the author, who received no compensation from Harper Collins other than the review copy of the book.

[BOOK REVIEW] Kids Book Scores Goal

Cate Burke — Tue, 15 Jun 2010 02:49:16 +0000

After watching a group of pre-schoolers play soccer at our local park, my two-year-old twins and I were eager to read Big Kicks, written and illustrated by Bob Kolar.

This fun picture book, recently released by Candlewick Press in paperback, has wonderful digital artwork. With bright colors and cute animals, each page has so much for kids to look at.

In this delightful story, Biggie Bear (a really BIG bear who enjoys jazz and stamp collecting) gets recruited to play for the local soccer team. Biggie tries his best for his team, but the problem is Biggie has never played soccer before. His teammates soon learn that bigger doesn’t always mean better and you shouldn’t make assumptions based on looks.

Although Big Kicks is recommended for ages 4-6, I found it to be an enjoyable book to read to my two-year-olds… and read repeatedly as is often the case with toddlers. Biggie is a very likeable character and young kids will enjoy reading about him. In addition to being a cute book about soccer, it is also a good way to talk to your kids about learning something new and how it is ok if you aren’t good at it.

With the 2010 FIFA World Cup HERE (ole… ole, ole, ole), there is no better time to introduce your children to the fun and excitement of soccer. For more information about Big Kicks or other soccer books released by Candlewick Press, go to www.candlewick.com.

[BOOK REVIEW] Is Idle Parenting Ideal?

Cate Burke — Wed, 02 Jun 2010 04:39:21 +0000

Nothing promotes the value of idle parenting like a slipped disk and strict instructions from my doctor to absolutely not pick up my twins, who were about to turn two, for two weeks. While do I try to limit my “helicopter parenting” to an amount appropriate for my kids age, I am not idle by nature. Fortunately a new book by Tom Hodgkinson showed up on my door the following day to explain how it’s done.

In The Idle Parent: Why Laid-Back Parents Raise Happier and Healthier Kids, Hodgkinson, parenting columnist and father of three (ages 3, 6 and 8), shares his simple philosophy toward child-raising: leave them alone. The theory is that by doing so children will be happier, confident, independent and self–reliant. While parenting styles are typically viewed as either helicopter/smothering or idle/neglecting, this new book explain that “the idle parent is a responsible parent because at the heart of idle parenting is respect for the child.”

In this thought provoking new book Hodgkinson presents an interesting and appealing case for idle parenting. He emphasizes the importance of being available for your child when they need you (let them come to you), and when they don’t… have a beer, enjoy yourself. The book explains that in order to enjoy life, parents need to let go of any resentment they feel toward their children. In other words, idle parenting is about sometimes putting your happiness first because the happier the parents, the happier the children.

The Idle Parent makes a number of practical observations. It suggests replacing “coercion and authoritative rule with joint voluntary action.” For example, instead of telling your kids to sit down for dinner, invite them to join you at the table. It also notes that we should make our children more useful (bring back child labor) because “whining and complaining arise from powerlessness.”

Hodgkinson uses the parenting theories of several authors including John Locke and Jean-Jacques Rousseau to justify his arguments toward idle parenting. He also uses his own experiences as a father. His naturalistic approach can some times seem a bit extreme, and is also very anti-consumerism and anti-establishment.

I enjoyed The Idle Parent as a thought provoking exercise on theoretical parenting, but in practice… I am still on the fence. Will it make kids happier? Of that I have no doubt. But what children raised by this approach toward parenting will be like as adults, only time will tell.

While it wasn’t the hilarious book it is described as (that may have been due to pain killers and lack of alcohol), there were several extremely good points made and I am trying to be a little more hands off.

More information about Tom Hodgkinson can be found at http://idler.co.uk/

[BOOK REVIEW] Imaginative Successor to Child 44 is no Secret

Cate Burke — Wed, 28 Apr 2010 03:01:47 +0000

New York Times bestselling author, Tom Rob Smith, returns to a time of great change in the Soviet Union’s history in his second book The Secret Speech. Following the success of his debut novel Child 44, this book is set against a fascinating historical backdrop.

A fast-paced page-turner, The Secret Speech completely immerses the reader in the 1950s Soviet Union. After the death of Stalin, the new government is working to throw off the country’s brutal past, starting with admitting mistakes. This admission leads to a complex time of upheaval; those wronged are angry and those who participated in the cruelty caused by Stalin’s brutal regime are forced to face the consequences of their actions.

In this novel, former Secret Police officer turned homicide detective, Leo Demidov, struggles with his past while investigating the deaths of two former colleagues. As the case unfolds, Demidov is forced to experience some of the pains caused by his actions as an MGB officer (Soviet Union’s secret service prior to the KGB) in an effort to save his adopted daughter.

The pacing of this book stalls slightly before the shocking twist is revealed, plunging the reader down another path like a roller coaster that has crested a hill. While “protagonist faces sins of the past” in not a new story line, The Secret Speech is a captivating book. This is a credit to Smith’s descriptive style of writing and the numerous turns his lead character is forced to take as the story is unveiled.

Although crime drama/mystery is not the genre I traditionally read, I would definitely recommend this book.

May 3, 2010, Tom Rob Smith’s The Secret Speech will be released in paperback. This edition includes a Q&A section with Smith along with discussion questions/topics for a book group. More information about this book and author can be found at www.thesecretspeech.com.

The opinions expressed in this review are those of the author. The author was provided with a complimentary review copy of the book.

[BOOK REVIEW] Serena Williams Faults With Autobiography

Cate Burke — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 06:29:37 +0000

Tennis pro Serena Williams shocked her many supporters with her behavior at the 2009 U.S. Open. After being called on a fault, Williams cursed at and threatened the lineswoman who made the call. Although published prior to the incident, I wondered if her background had any bearing on her actions. I have admired Williams as an athlete and role model so I sat down to read her autobiography, On the Line.

While On the Line offers some inspirational messages from this exceptional tennis player, the pace can be a bit slow… ok, painfully slow.

In reading this book I discovered the only thing that Serena Williams and I have in common is our love of the card game Uno. And while she claims to be good at that game, I am fairly sure that I could hold my own against her.

To be fair, although I enjoy watching the occasional match, I would not consider myself a big tennis fan. Interspersed throughout the book are retellings of some of Serena William’s big matches. In these sections she does not just gloss over the highlights of the match, she relives them for the reader in agonizing detail. Tennis requires a degree of grace, skill, and strategy, and although some matches can be exciting, I did not find these sections to be a very dynamic read. If not familiar with the specific match, opponent, and tennis terminology, reading these sections can be rather tedious.

In the sections that take place off the court, Serena Williams opens up about her childhood, family, and introduction to tennis. She shares the good, bad, and even some of the ugly in this honest reflection on her life and tennis career to date. Her anecdotes include growing up as the sometimes spoiled and selfish baby in her family. Other examples show her overwhelming determination and desire to win. I found these provided some insight into her actions at the U.S. Open.

If you consider yourself a big fan of tennis, I think that you might enjoy this book. If you are only interested in reading an autobiography by Serena Williams you might want to wait for the movie.

Image credit: Rob Young

[BOOK REVIEW] NurtureShock: Challenging Your Perspective on Child Development

Cate Burke — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 03:48:03 +0000

New and expecting parents thrive on parenting books, but once the child turns one year old most parents feel that their instincts have taken over. Unless dealing with a specific issue (potty training, biting, identifying a mysterious rash), we rarely have time, so the books get put away. But what if our instincts are wrong?

NurtureShock, by Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman, poses that very question. This eye-opening new book is unlike any parenting book I have ever read, and I consider it a must read for parents. It offers a new perspective on children and will make you rethink how you interact with yours.

Filled with an extensive collection of research findings, this book covers several topics and presents studies on kids, from infants to teenagers. A few of the topics include the negative effects of praising your child’s intelligence, the reason it’s actually good that your teen argues with you, why an infant’s language skills do not improve by watching baby videos, and why encouraging honesty may be making your kids better liars.

As I encouraged friends and family to read this book almost all of them asked what the book is about. The short answer is that it is about the way children think. The long answer is much more complex.

NurtureShock presents several compelling research findings that examine the psychological and neurological aspects of kids’ thinking to help explain developmental and behavioral patterns. Some of the information presented seems so obvious in hind sight… of course a child’s mind works differently than an adult’s. It is in a constant state of change, so testing a 5-year-old’s IQ for entrance into gifted programs or private schools does not accurately reflect their performance down the line. I was surprised to learn that studies indicate that educational television shows make kids more aggressive and that sleep deprivation may decrease IQ points and cause childhood obesity.

As the daughter of a statistics teacher, I am always wary of research findings and tend to take them with a grain of salt. How was the data collected? Can the results from a small sample really be generalized to the public? It seems like there are always shocking research findings and they are always making grand claims but frequently contradicting each other. However, with 80 pages of notes and references, Bronson and Merryman present a comprehensive collection of findings by highly credible sources without attempting to extrapolate them or telling the reader how to parent.

With the sometimes overwhelming amount of information, this book is not a quick read. However, it is extremely interesting and definitely worth the time. I highly recommend NurtureShock, but be warned, this book will… dare I say it… shock you.

[REVIEW] Suction CaliBowl: No More Messy Spills?

Cate Burke — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 03:06:50 +0000

My 16-month-old daughter eyes me warily as I open the mysterious box that has just arrived and pull out a strange bowl that looks nothing like any of her bowls. As I begin to remove the CaliBowl Kids Suction Bowl from its packaging, I sympathize with my little girl’s skepticism. Can a bowl really “eliminate the frustration of self-feeding and messy spills” as the product claims? However, with two toddlers and lots of uh-oh’s, I have a sense of hopeful optimism and look forward to seeing if it’s up to the challenge.

Within seconds of freeing the bowl, my 16-month-old son grabs it and races into the other room. His twin sister is in hot pursuit with the lid. “Ah well,” I think to myself as the giggling over the new toy begins, “if nothing else at least they enjoy playing with it!”

The Kids Suction Bowl, like the other CaliBowls, was produced by Simple Wave LLC with a patent-pending no-spill lip. The lip of these bowls was modeled after the tide of a wave, pushing food back onto the utensil. The original concept was conceived 20 years ago by construction worker and surfer dad Jeff Bollengier while surfing in Baja Mexico. The Kids Suction Bowl ($14.14 MSRP) is made from BPA-free polypropylene plastic, has a non-slip suction foot and is dishwasher safe. Some of the other bowls are available in both ceramic and plastic.

Once I round up my little product testers, we spend the next few days comparing the new bowl to our other ones, both suction and regular. After having each child use the bowl for several meals, here is what we discovered:

The 1.5 cup bowl is the perfect size for toddlers and the lid makes it easy to store leftovers. Both kids found the wide, shallow bowl easy to remove food from. The suction foot held up brilliantly to a great amount of biting and chewing by my teething tots. However, if you are looking for a suction foot that stays stuck, this is not it. The first time I set my daughter down in front of it, she pulled it up in 3 seconds and then four more times over the course of the meal. The bowl is hard to tip over if knocked from the side, thus the advertising of a “non-slip” suction foot.

My twin testers are still at the early stages of self-feeding; they can get food-to-mouth and spoon-to-mouth but are still working on the concept of food-on-spoon-to-mouth. Although I could not find a suggested age on this product, my kids (16 months) may be a bit younger than the optimal users of these bowls. At the end of the feedings it didn’t seem to make much, if any, different when comparing messes. It seemed to help a little with larger-piece food like mac ’n’ cheese, but I found it to be more difficult to scrape oatmeal from the sides of this bowl than from others. Overall I am still undecided on the no-spill lip, but then I do not find food spilling over the side to be a major problem in our house.

Honestly, I find the company’s mission more impressive than the product we tested. According to press materials “Simple Wave [LLC] and, by extension, CaliBowl are committed to enhancing the long-term sustainability of our planet by developing a framework for helping to preserve the environment.” With a Zero Landfill Policy, they have a “Recycle-a-Bowl” program that offers consumers a 20% discount of subsequent orders when they return a used CaliBowl at the end of its life. In addition, the company donates CaliBowls to Shriners Hospitals internationally though their “Charit-a-Bowl” program.

My son loves the new bowl, or seems to as he insists on putting it on his head every time he empties it. I like the Kids bowl well enough, but the bottom line is because of the price and lack of grip on the part of the suction I am more likely to consider the other offerings in the CaliBowl line in the future. I must admit, as a California girl who is far from home, some of the set names (Del Mar, La Jolla, Santa Barbara) make me a bit nostalgic. At least my kids have fun new toy that I am also willing to let them eat from; none of their other toys can make that claim!

This suction bowl was tested on Fisher Price Rainforest highchair trays. Results may vary by surface.

For more information about the company and products, go to www.calibowl.com.

[INTO THE DAWN] Sabrina and SM

MARTIAL ARTS: Is it right for your kids?

Cate Burke — Sat, 01 Aug 2009 05:46:57 +0000

After having watched Kung Fu Panda for the 37th time this summer, it is no wonder that your kids are now insisting that they want to learn martial arts.

While the study of karate, kung fu, tae kwon do, and other forms of self-defense offer many benefits for kids and adults, parents often wonder if it is right for their children. It is also challenging to select a style and studio, especially if you have never studied martial arts.

First you may wish to question the reason or reasons behind your child’s interest in taking martial arts. If it is because it “looks cool” in the movies or they want to learn to fight, perhaps these are not the best reasons. However, if your family’s interest stems from a yearning for new challenges and self-defense in a structured environment then you should consider the many benefits that this activity has to offer.

Martial arts give boys and girls a healthy, controlled outlet for their almost-boundless energy and can provide additional energy for those who could use a little more. They can be a way to present many important life-lessons to young people, and introduce them to a new set of friends with a built-in common interest. Also, a good school will not only teach their students how to use their self-defense skills, but when they should (and when they shouldn’t!)

Steve Dexter, father to 7-year-old Jack, has observed a number of benefits over his son’s four years of training. “Jack has increased agility, confidence and a moral base (such as respecting teachers) that I don’t see kids getting in school these days.”

Matthew Apsokardu, a professional martial arts writer who has taught karate for over 13 years, has recently released a free ebook that is available for download at http://www.ikigaiway.com/2009/students-dojo-survival-guide. This book provides a basic overview of martial arts, including information on selecting a style and what to expect from a school. This ebook provides tips to help you prepare your child (mentally and physically) for joining a school and set him or her on the path to be a successful student.

Apsokardu explains, “As a parent, it is critical that you have an understanding of what is normal and abnormal behavior in a martial art school. Furthermore, you’ll want to learn how to deal with problem students, teachers, and other issues that could arise.” This ebook, in addition to being a good resource for parents, is also accessible for older children and teens.

When selecting a martial art, it is important to remember that not all styles emphasize all aspects. Some will concentrate on flexibility and endurance while others may focus more on sparring and strength training. Schools within each style can also vary dramatically. For example, some may stress the philosophical or traditional elements of the martial art while others will not. When selecting a style and training studio, keep in mind what your child wants from the experience, how he or she best learns, and what type of teacher they are most comfortable with.

As an example, the Afro-Brazilian art form capoeira is all about the energy dynamic; the energy that is released through the combination of dance, music, and martial art. Unlike the ranks or belts in other forms, achievements or chords are often based on play and accomplishments. Jason Luethje, a dedicated capoeira player and instructor in Iowa City, acknowledges that there is merit to a variety of styles. He states, “We want both our sons involved in martial arts, whatever one they chose to pursue.”

Your local library and the internet can be used to compare different styles. Information and video clip examples of a number of martial arts can also be found at http://www.ikigaiway.com/2008/how-to-choose-a-martial-art/. Once you select a style, you will want to visit a few schools with your child. It is important to observe a class with your child and make sure you are both comfortable with the environment and the teacher before signing up.

Once a student begins training, it is very easy for both the child and parent to become overly focused on the black belt. As a parent, Steve Dexter would caution other parents “not to race to the finish but enjoy the process.” While there are many rewards that kids gain from taking martial arts, they do not occur overnight but with dedication and determination – the same as with any other sport or activity.

My husband, who has a second-degree black belt in tae kwon do and was the program director at the studio where he trained for several years, is counting down the days until our boy/girl twins are old enough to start taking martial arts with him. So in our house it is not so much a question of will they, but of when.

Image credit: Kriss Szkurlatowski