Da-da’s Mad as Hell and He’s Not Going to Take It Anymore: An Open Letter to Roger Goodell, NFL Commish

Hi, Roger. I’m curious. Why is it you punish NFL athletes with ‘character issues’ week after week, but at the same time allow FOX and CBS to broadcast horribly violent R-rated commercials in-between plays? AT TEN O’CLOCK IN THE MORNING. It’s made it i…

Hi, Roger. I’m curious. Why is it you punish NFL athletes with ‘character issues’ week after week, but at the same time allow FOX and CBS to broadcast horribly violent R-rated commercials in-between plays? AT TEN O’CLOCK IN THE MORNING. It’s made it impossible for me to watch NFL games, anymore — and even more impossible for me to try to teach the game to my two young boys, as I can’t let them watch that kinda crap. I mean, one minute there’s a great game, teams coming together, coming apart, then BLAM: a commercial for NCIS guns and violence and explosions, then another where a truck driver gets run over while changing a tire, then yet another showing more police shooting people… on and on. And people wonder why children are shooting people in schools. This isn’t anything new, of course, but it’s getting worse and it needs to stop, Roger.

I mean, during the playoffs last year — during the holidays, mind you, at 10:15 in the morning — all Fox affiliates suddenly flipped from the game to a blood-spattered R-rated commercial for a freaking horror movie, which my youngest (he’s three) saw. I couldn’t get the channel changed fast enough and my little one had nightmares for a week. (I raised hell at the local FOX affiliate, not that they did anything about it.) Note that I never let my boys watch network TV, for obvious reasons, but the games had been a rare exception. The point is moot, alas, as I won’t be re-upping the real horror that is the hideously overpriced DirecTV NFL Sunday Ticket.

Just to be clear, Roger:

ALL COMMERCIALS DURING NFL GAMES SHOULD BE RATED G, ESP. AT 10:00 AM IN THE MORNING YOU GOOBER. Did that come across clearly enough?

And yes, I’ll feel better if I personally fine the NFL $75,000 for a mental hit on my kid.

Then again, perhaps I should be a “Good, Patriotic American,” pay through the nose without complaint and look the other way, let my kids tune in to what Rupert Murdoch and FOX wants pumped into their sensorium (Armageddon, LIVE ON PAYPERVIEW), embrace the sex and violence passed off as video game entertainment… THEN, Roger, then… one day a few years from now, you’ll be walking to your car, righteously whistling to yourself after berating some poor college drop-out athlete for doing something that isn’t even a crime, oblivious to the bloodthirsty pack of heavily armed ten-year-olds approaching you from around the corner, kids freshly programmed to show you the business end of the future. Wake up and smell the hollow points, pal.

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