This Old SUX vs Bakfiets

I have an old SUV SUX, and like me it’s getting older, heavier, dumber, lower to the ground, and makes odd noises every time it moves. I used to think it was a pretty good, reliable vehicle (I won’t reveal the make), until the steering box went out at …

I have an old SUV SUX, and like me it’s getting older, heavier, dumber, lower to the ground, and makes odd noises every time it moves. I used to think it was a pretty good, reliable vehicle (I won’t reveal the make), until the steering box went out at only 74,000 miles to the tune of $2600, and then had to be replaced four times, as the part is now only made by cheap-ass overseas firms. NOW, my SUX needs a complete brake overhaul and tires (about $900 + $900 where I live), AND the stupid thing only gets 13 mpg… hmm.

Since we live in a fairly flat place, and my travel requirements are mostly home to school to home to grocery store to trusses-R-us, etc., I’m thinking of parking/planting the SUX, and getting this:

Ok, not this exactly, but a human-powered, kid-delivery vehicle, nonetheless. Something more like this:

Wheeee! Sure, I’ll have to get a wig and Jackie-O sunglasses and an Anthropologie wardrobe to make it work, but behold my soon-to-be-new-means of transport: the “Bakfiets,” Dutch-to-English translation = bak (tray, box) + fiets (bicycle). Note: “Bakfiets” is singular. Originally designed as a three-wheel cargo bike for delivering hordes of danishes (mmmm, danish hordes), this updated, urbane version holds three kids and groceries, and even has a rainfly canopy for bad weather (though not for the pilot, alas). It’s a tad pricey at $3000, but when you think about how overpriced mountain bikes are, AND add up the savings vs. driving the stupid SUX…

Let’s do a quick cost comparison:

SUX

  • $400 annual registration/tags
  • $1000/yr. insurance
  • $1500/yr. maintenance
  • $3000/yr. fuel, etc.
  • $120 smog certificate

That’s over $6000/yr. in operating expense, sans big repairs that always seem to be necessary. Plus, the SUX pollutes like Dick Cheney and is about as cool.

Bakfiets

  • $3000 one-time sticker price
  • $0 insurance
  • $100/yr. maintenance
  • $0 fuel (save for carne asada burritos for dada)
  • ZERO pollution, save for the carne asada miasma coming from pilot sweat.

Um, do the math. Plus, gym memberships around here are approx. $100/mo., so I’ll get free exercise, AND I’ll look COOL… well, as cool as I ever look, which is ZERO, but maybe I’ll be a LITTLE TEENY BIT COOL. Ok, forget it. Actually, there is a COOLER bike available, but it’s a secret for now, as it would take your head clean off. You’re neck stump will DROOL, guaranteed… AND then I can wear my da-da costume 24/7, yay. Now, all I have to do is sell the boss on the idea.

Those muscles are MINE, baby.

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