http://thefatherlife.com/mag/2009/08/06/a-dads-point-of-view-don%e2%80%99t-take-it-personally/ The Men's Magazine for Dads Thu, 29 Jul 2010 16:16:44 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0 http://thefatherlife.com/mag/2009/08/06/a-dads-point-of-view-don%e2%80%99t-take-it-personally/comment-page-1/#comment-1824 Jeffrey Levine Tue, 11 Aug 2009 03:47:23 +0000 http://thefatherlife.com/mag/?p=3026#comment-1824 Thank you for your honesty and vulnerability in writing this post. It's so easy to fall into assuming that we are the cause of someone else's suffering. There is book I am sure you've heard of "The Four Agreements" - one of them is "Don't take anything personally" - so obviously this is a topic that many people can relate to. My wife and I (and our daughter as well) feel comfortable enough to communicate very clearly, but it took some practice. We need to be able to ask "Are you pissed at me?"...or "Do I need to apologize for something?" And then, the hard part, is to then be able to make it safe for them to say ANYTHING...and for us not to take THAT personally either. Each of us need to be able to express what is going on with us, and if we're always concerned that the other person is going to take it personally, the communication breaks down. Their stuff is their stuff...and the cleaner it gets communicated, the better for all. Great discussion topic. Thank you for your honesty and vulnerability in writing this post. It’s so easy to fall into assuming that we are the cause of someone else’s suffering. There is book I am sure you’ve heard of “The Four Agreements” – one of them is “Don’t take anything personally” – so obviously this is a topic that many people can relate to. My wife and I (and our daughter as well) feel comfortable enough to communicate very clearly, but it took some practice. We need to be able to ask “Are you pissed at me?”…or “Do I need to apologize for something?” And then, the hard part, is to then be able to make it safe for them to say ANYTHING…and for us not to take THAT personally either. Each of us need to be able to express what is going on with us, and if we’re always concerned that the other person is going to take it personally, the communication breaks down. Their stuff is their stuff…and the cleaner it gets communicated, the better for all. Great discussion topic.

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